


what a feeling

by symphorine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, M/M, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 19:59:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10624098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/symphorine/pseuds/symphorine
Summary: Reon clears his throat suddenly, right after they pass the old bike shop.. "Can I..." He trails off, rubbing at his neck, and they slow down a little. "Can I hold your hand?"Kai can't help but give him an amused smile. "Yes, of course you can. What did you think I would say?"Reon doesn't waste time in linking their fingers, and his hand feels nice in Kai's, even though they still have their gloves. "I don't know. It just felt important to ask."Reon asks for permission. For a lot of things.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is the sweetest, softest fluff i've ever written, so be warned. also there's a fair bit of making out as some point but i didn't feel like an M rating was necessary? but still, now you know
> 
> thank u amber for betaing this for me!! i know i've yelled it on twitter already but UR AN ANGEL AND I LOVE U
> 
> inspired in particular by niko's art [here](http://rarepare.tumblr.com/post/155702511002/asking-permission) but also by niko's and megan's art for this ship in general. i love u both a lot and i hope u guys like this??

 

**I.**

It's the first time Reon’s visiting. He comes the day before Christmas - they'd counted on him coming to Nationals in January, but then their plans had changed. Kai waits for him at the station, and his breath catches when he finally sees Reon again.

They've had to settle for Skype calls and the occasional selfie - Kai takes more than Reon, and Reon always smiles in his in a way that makes Kai's heart stop a little every time. It's so different to have him here in person, and Kai feels warmth spreading from his heart to the tip of his fingers when Reon hurries towards him, only to stop just a small step away and take a deep breath.

"Hi," he says.

Kai can't help but grin, and he almost wants to look away, but he can't stop taking in Reon's _everything_ \- his broad shoulders, the gentle curve of his lips, the way his eyes are crinkling -

"Hi," Kai says back. "Did you have a good trip?"

"Yes," Reon replies, and his smile widens, lighting up his face.

Kai blinks slowly, eyes lingering on Reon's face, then he remembers they're still standing in the middle of the platform. "Shall we go then?"

"Sure," Reon answers, readjusting his bag on his shoulder. "Don't go too fast, I wouldn't want to get lost already."

Kai laughs and leads them to the stairs and toward the line that will get them home. "How's your team?"

"Disappointed," Reon says honestly. "But our juniors are very motivated to do better next year."

"I don't doubt that." He feels as if he knows them all, from Reon's stories.

"They might even beat Nekoma," Reon adds with a pleased smile.

Kai laughs and touches Reon's shoulder to steer him in the right direction before answering. "So you feel okay with leaving them, then." Last time they'd talked about it, Reon had been more reluctant.

"Yes, I think so. We're still going to go to practice, of course, but I don't think we're necessary anymore."

Kai examines his face while he hands him the subway ticket he'd purchased for him in advance. He's glad to find that Reon's serene tone isn't a facade, that he really does look like he's ready to move forward.

Kai nods but doesn't say anything else; they share a comfortable silence while they wait half a minute for the train, and then are pressed together by the crowd of people. They're both tall enough to not be oppressed, and Kai doesn't really find anything to complain about leaning against Reon's chest, close enough to smell his shampoo.

"You're very comfortable," he murmurs, and smiles when Reon looks away, his cheeks a little darker than they were just a moment ago.

Kai lightly presses Reon's arm when they reach the right stop, and Reon lets out a relieved sigh as soon as they escape the stuffy train.

"I'll admit that wasn't a part I looked forward to," Reon remarks as they walk, avoiding the people rushing in the opposite direction.

"I don't think anyone likes overcrowded public transports," Kai laughs.

Reon sighs. "At least you're used to them."

"Believe me, today is the first time it's been pleasant," Kai replies, just as they're walking out of the station.

It takes Reon a second to understand, and then he blushes and shakes his head. He tightens his grip on his bag and gives Kai a glance that would be reproachful if it wasn't tinted with affection.

"Sorry, it's just so easy," Kai apologizes half-heartedly.

"You're a terrible man, taking advantage of me like this," Reon teases as they turn to walk down a large flight of stairs.

Kai grins. "Don't tempt me."

Reon's eyebrows raise slightly as if to challenge him, but Kai takes pity on him. Reon _is_ so very easy to embarrass - and Kai won't deny that seeing him shyly pleased and all bashful is a small pleasure in itself. He doubts Reon has any idea how often he _thinks_ all these things he says - things that are as much compliments as truths. Maybe Kai just likes him a little too much to be objective, but he can't see how anyone could not agree with him. Reon _is_ beautiful, and kind, and reliable, and clever, and more importantly right now, he's _here_ and they're walking side by side in those streets Kai knows so well, their gloved hands brushing every so often. He didn't think they could feel more like home.

Reon clears his throat suddenly, right after they pass the old bike shop.. "Can I..." He trails off, rubbing at his neck, and they slow down a little. "Can I hold your hand?"

Kai can't help but give him an amused smile. "Yes, of course you can. What did you think I would say?"

Reon doesn't waste time in linking their fingers, and his hand feels nice in Kai's, even though they still have their gloves. "I don't know. It just felt important to ask."

There's a new warmth in Kai's body that has everything to do with the boy next to him, and every way in which he's wonderful. It makes him feel like he could do anything, but for now, he just pulls Reon with him along the way home.

 

* * *

 

**II.**

It's Kai's turn to visit, the next time. It doesn't feel real to Reon, to see Kai in his house, in his room, in his _bed_ \- even though he's supposed to have his own futon. Reon had thought, since it's the second time, that maybe it would be easier, but it still feels like a dream.

"I think I'm going to give up," Kai groans, throwing his head back. "There's no way I'm getting the right result."

Reon puts a hand on Kai's shoulder as he gets up, glancing briefly at the sheet of equations. "I'll go get water and snacks, and you can take a break."

Kai's shoulders slump and he puts his textbook aside with a smile. "My personal hero."

"If you're going to make fun of me for it, maybe I should stop spoiling you," Reon replies.

He stops on his way out of the room to listen to Kai's laugh and smiles. The kitchen isn't far, and none of his family is here to delay him with a few minutes of conversation or a complaint about _someone_ not letting anyone else use the television - his siblings are still learning to share - and he's back soon with his hands full.

When Reon returns, he sees Kai has moved from the bed to the desk, and is back to work already despite his earlier complaints. Kai's hunched over his homework, surrounded on either side by all the lost papers and forgotten books that have piled up on Reon's old desk over the years.

Kai looks at home, right here in Reon's childhood bedroom, and Reon's heart is swelling, taking up his chest and leaving no room to breathe.

He puts away the drinks and snacks and takes another handful of seconds to admire his boyfriend. Kai had turned on the little desk lamp, still covered in stickers from animes Reon has long since stopped watching, and the light casts a warm glow on him. Reon wants to _touch_ , to cradle Kai's face in his hands and kiss him, but he doesn't want to disturb his concentration too much.

He takes a few steps and leans on the back of the chair, hoping the light pressure will give Kai a warning that he's back, in case he hadn't heard him.

"Still the same one?" Reon murmurs, surveying the sheet Kai is working on.

Kai hums in answer and keeps writing steadily, numbers flowing from the tip of his pen. There's a smile tugging up the corner of his mouth, and Reon is almost certain it's not for the formulas.

He sighs and leans a little further, almost touching Kai. "Can I hug y-"

"Yes," Kai answer immediately, obviously amused at Reon’s need to ask, even though this is far from the first hug they've shared.

He barely stops writing when Reon's arms slide around him, and Reon doesn't try to take up more of his attention. He very much prefers to keep watching. There's still a trace of a smile on Kai's face, but he's focused on his work, and it's almost captivating.

Reon has tried not to think too much about it, but there are moments when he regrets that they both made sensible choices that led them to still live apart. It's easier to visit than before, yes, and Kai is here now for a few weeks during the summer break, but Reon wishes the sight of Kai working on homework was a familiar one. He wishes _any_ sight of his boyfriend was a familiar one - and he knows he's not the only one.

He sighs a little and hugs Kai a bit tighter, and finally Kai stops writing and leans into him. He puts a hand on Reon's arms and lifts another to his face, making him turn just enough to kiss him, and Reon feels him smile under his lips.

"Don't you have better things to do than looking at me?" Kai teases when they part.

Reon is enraptured by the crinkles in his eyes and it takes him a second to answer. "Not really. I did bring water, though, if you want some."

"Hm. Maybe later," Kai says.

He lets his head rest on Reon's chest, and smiles when Reon presses a kiss to his neck before settling his chin on Kai's shoulder.

"When is everyone going to be back?" Kai inquires, fingers slowly tracing the shell of Reon's ear.

"In about an hour, I think," Reon replies. "But you know, you've already done enough to convince them we've been working hard."

Kai grins. "Are you trying to lure me away from homework?"

"And into my waiting arms," Reon adds. "Well, I didn't wait for that part."

Kai's laugh resonates in his chest and into Reon's before he's gently pushed away.

"I think it is worth noting," Reon adds as he steps away, "that the bed is very comfortable, and that I will be on it."

Kai follows him with amused eyes as he sits on his bed and grabs the book he's been reading. Reon makes a show of stretching and making himself comfortable, then gives Kai a pointed look when he finally opens the book.

"Wasn't I supposed to be the one to do things like tempting you away from responsibilities?" Kai sighs, folding his arms on the back of the chair.

Reon shrugs. "Are you saying I'm tempting you?"

"Very much," Kai replies. "You know you always do."

Reon looks away, but doesn't try to hide his smile. Maybe he should be used to this, by now, to Kai's little comments that always take him by surprise with their sincerity. But he isn't yet, and he figures it's not very important to know if he ever will.

 

* * *

 

**III.**

They spend Christmas together in Tokyo again, that year, though this time it's in Kai's own apartment. It's different. They touch more, talk less, laugh deeper. Kai keeps looking at Reon, still unused to his presence, and wonders if there are more freckles on his nose, or if it's just that he's never noticed them before.

"Why are you staring?" Reon asks over breakfast. He frowns and tries to look at where Kai was staring himself, going a little cross-eyed in the process.

Kai laughs and takes his mug, tilting his head to the side. "I think you've gotten even more handsome than last time."

"You sound like my grandmother," Reon says with a grimace.

Kai chokes on his coffee when he laughs and thumps on his chest as Reon shakes his head, looking at him from the corner of his eye until he's sure Kai can breathe again - although he's more _wheezing_ than anything.

"Maybe I should have done like old ladies do when you came out of the train," he teases with a grin. "Pinched your cheeks and called you a nice boy."

Reon shakes his head with a smile when Kai laughs again. They're not quite holding hands, but Reon's hand is resting in the middle of the small table, and Kai's fingers brush against it more often than they have cause to. Reon keeps glancing at Kai and muffling his laugh, and eventually, when Kai is done with his breakfast, he does more than just raising his eyebrows.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm just trying to imagine you with my grandmother's hairstyle," Reon replies, his smile a little crooked. "But it's already hard to imagine you with much hair at all."

Kai leans back in his chair, tangling one of his leg in Reon's. "I used to. I think I still have pictures from middle school."

"Here?"

Kai nods, leaving his leg trapped between Reon's ankles. He's pleasantly warm, and Kai honestly would like nothing more than going back in bed to cuddle with him. Maybe they will. After all, for a blessed few days, they can do whatever they want.

"I'd be curious to see them," Reon says, leaning forward with his chin in his hand, a smile curling up behind his fingers.

"Maybe if you do the dishes," Kai replies as he crosses his arms.

"You know I was going to do them anyway."

"How convenient," Kai murmurs.

The apartment is quiet enough that Reon hears him clearly, and he huffs a laugh before standing up, releasing Kai's leg. He quickly gathers their plates and bowls and other utensils, and Kai busies himself with putting back the orange juice or the sugar while Reon fills the sink with soapy hot water.

Kai is done first, and he leans against the counter while waiting for his lovely boyfriend to be done. It's a little bit unfair, how good he looks on a lazy morning, his hair a little bit messy and a few splashes of water on his pajama shirt. It had taken him a little while to be actually awake; Kai had spent a good five minutes making fun of Reon this morning while he tried to snuggle in his side and go back to sleep, despite Kai's attempts at leaving the bed.

If anything, he'd been as beautiful then with his eyes still heavy with sleep as he is now, awake and drying his hands and coming over to settle them on Kai's hips.

"Think you can show me those pictures now?" Reon asks, his thumb slipping under Kai's shirt and tracing mindless patterns on his skin.

Kai smiles and stands up straighter so he's a little closer to Reon's height. "I don't really want to move right now," he confesses, looking up into brown eyes that he's dreamed about for the best part of the last few months.

Reon gives him a quick smile, then is silent for a moment, and Kai knows that pause, knows what's coming next, and it still makes his heart flutter.

"Can I k–" Reon starts, and is cut off by Kai's lips on his.

Reon's mouth is soft and warm, and Kai brings his hands to cup his face. The kiss is a little too short for his liking, but he's grinning too hard and he has to lean back - just an inch.

"You know you don't have to ask." His hands slide down Reon's jaw to rest at the crook of his neck.

"You know I still will," Reon replies with a shrug. "And don't think you distracted me enough to forget that you promised me the pictures."

 

* * *

 

**IV.**

They stumble in the hallway, Kai's giggles echoing off the walls. Reon muffles him with a kiss, and suddenly Kai is very focused, throwing his arms around Reon's shoulders and panting in his mouth and - getting _very_ handsy.

"We should," Reon starts, cut off by another kiss that he almost gets lost in. "We should get inside."

"It's very far," Kai replies, pressing impossibly closer.

"I'd rather my neighbors don't–" Kai interrupts him again, trailing kisses and light bites down his jaw, and Reon swallows with much effort, trying to stay on the same train of thought. "Just wait two minutes, okay?"

He feels Kai smile against his skin before he finally pulls away. "Fine, but your neighbors would be very lucky to see us–"

"You're drunk," Reon mumbles, feeling his ears heat up.

He takes Kai's hand and leads him a few steps further before looking for his keys.

"I'm tipsy," Kai corrects in a whisper, "and _you_ are beautiful."

Reon almost drops the keys, but he manages by some miracle to open his door while Kai's hands sneak under his shirt. They get in and Reon kicks the door shut, and this time when Kai kisses him he answers in kind.

Reon laughs breathlessly when they break apart. "Think you can wait until we reach the bed?"

"Mmhmm. If you carry me," Kai says with a grin, his eyes shining with the dim light coming from the window.

"You can walk," Reon points out, even as he slides his hands under Kai's thighs.

"Yes, but it's way less fun," Kai replies, locking his legs behind Reon's back.

Reon's arms strain a little under the sudden weight, and Kai's hands slide down to his arms while he hums appreciatively. Reon starts walking toward the bed, stopping every two steps to kiss again, and again, and _again_ -

"Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?" Kai murmurs, dropping his head so that their foreheads are touching.

"You've told me, a few times," Reon answers.

Something in his chest melts when Kai starts laughing again, his dimples just as charming now as they were when they first met. Reon's heart starts beating slower, harder, and it would almost hurt if not for the soft touch of Kai's mouth.

They finally reach the bed, and Reon breaks their kiss with a sigh before gently dropping his boyfriend on the covers and climbing in next to him.

"I swear, if you're just putting me to bed, there will be consequences," Kai mumbles as Reon starts unbuttoning his shirt.

"Terrifying," Reon replies with a smile.

He bends down and pecks Kai's lips, and his hands finish sliding Kai's shirt off his shoulders before coming back to cup his face and trace the hollow at the base of his neck. Kai's breath catches in his throat, then he sighs, his fingers tugging lightly at Reon's hair.

"Are you sure-"

"I'm _very_ sure," Kai replies, leaning into Reon's touch.

"So can I-"

" _Yes_."

Reon huffs. "You didn't even let me finish."

"I trust you. Take off your shirt," Kai orders, pulling at the hem.

Reon presses lightly into Kai's neck one last time before sitting up and complying. He throws both of their shirts at the end of the bed, then doesn't give it any more thought and brushes their lips together again before starting to kiss his way down Kai's chest.

 

* * *

 

**V.**

They - _finally_ \- move in together, first together in Kai's apartment, then after a few months in something a little bigger, enlisting the help of their friends to move everything into their new place. Kuroo bickers with Yaku over how to pile the chairs to be most efficient or where to put the boxes of books, and Reon's friend Tendou eggs them on, but they manage to get everything done and everyone home in the same day. Kuroo gives Kai a hug before he leaves, lingering for a few seconds, and his eyes shine with something like pride when he pulls away. Kai watches him leave with Tendou in tow with the feeling that he might regret making this association possible one day, but he doesn't dwell on it. He loves his friends very much, but he has other priorities tonight.

Reon is lying on the bed, and Kai flops down next to him, the fatigue of the day finally catching up with him. Reon groans without opening his eyes, but blindly looks for Kai's hand, and Kai tangles their fingers. It's the first time they have a bed actually supposed to hold two people, and maybe he should be taking advantage of that, but he shuffles as close to Reon as he can without being on top of him, turning on his side to see better.

"Still have the same number of freckles," Reon mumbles, a hint of a smile on his lips.

Kai brings their linked hands higher, to rest on Reon's chest. "How do you always know when I'm staring?"

"You do it a lot," Reon replies as his eyes flutter open. "I've had lots of practice."

"You've had years," Kai murmurs.

He strokes Reon's hand with his thumb, and counts the freckles anyway.

" _Years_ ," Reon repeats, his tone pensive. "I can't believe it's been that long."

"We're finally living together, you better believe it's real."

Reon huffs and smiles. "We've been living together for a few months already."

"Yes, but it's wasn't _our_ place. This is," Kai says, tightening his grip around Reon's hand.

He settles his head on Reon's shoulder, and feels him speak as much as he hears him. "Yeah. We can finally do whatever we want together."

Kai grins. "Snack runs at midnight."

"Laundry."

"Is doing laundry with me really the best part of this?"

"It's been my goal all along," Reon laughs, and Kai feels it rumble in his own chest too.

Silence falls on them, and Kai doesn't dare look up yet. He keeps staring at Reon's hand, taking courage in his comforting warmth. He wants his voice to be clear and firm, but it's hard to speak, fear and love making his heart bigger than it should be.

"We could get married," Kai says.

Reon doesn't answer immediately, and Kai sits up with a sigh. Reon's eyes follow him; his lips are parted and his eyes a little wide, but he doesn't say anything.

"I know we haven't really talked about it," Kai continues, slowly, playing with Reon's fingers and following the curve of his neck with his eyes. "It's a little sudden, maybe, but I've been thinking - I've been thinking about it for a while. I didn't want to say anything before because I didn't want to pressure you, but..."

Reon sits up too and brings the tip of his fingers to Kai's lips, interrupting him. Kai's heart is beating frantically, but Reon just smiles and kisses him softly.

"Give me a minute," Reon says before sliding off the bed.

He kneels in front of the nightstand and opens it slowly before rummaging around, and the beginning of a suspicion forms in Kai's mind. Then Reon seems to find what he was looking for and turns back towards the bed and Kai, a small box in his hand.

"Oh," Kai says.

Reon rubs the back of his neck and hesitates before looking back at him. "I've had it for a few weeks. I was planning on doing this more properly, I don't even really have a speech prepared," he confesses. "But..."

"You don't have to."

"I want to," Reon insists.He moves so that he's on one knee, and Kai sits on the edge of the bed, clutching the sheets. Reon bites his lips but he can't contain his smile, and Kai knows he's doing the same.

"Kai Nobuyuki, I love you."

"That's a good start," Kai can't help but say, noting that his voice is shaking a little.

"Thank you," Reon chuckles.

Kai looks away for a second and Reon lets him, waits until he's ready to start again. Kai releases the sheets and takes a deep breath before he nods.

"I love you," Reon repeats, his voice almost unbearably soft. "I've always hated watching you leave, and I've never been happier than since we started living together. It was worth the wait, it was worth all the efforts we've made, and I'm only now starting to realize that this is real. And I want it to stay real, I want..." his voice is becoming rougher at every word, and he takes a deep breath before he continues. "I want to stay with you until you no longer want me to, and I hope that never happens, because I want to spend my life with you. So please, tell me." He pauses, and opens the box. The ring is a simple silver band, glinting under the light of their bedroom. "Can I marry you?"

Kai stares for a second, then bursts into laughter, soon joined by Reon. He lifts his hand to his eyes, to hide behind it or to wipe his tears, he's not even sure himself. When he looks at Reon again, he's smiling so much his face hurts, and he has no intention to stop.

"I did say it wasn't ready," Reon reminds him.

"I loved it," Kai says. He extends his hand; Reon takes it, and Kai pulls him higher and closer, so they're almost face to face. "Yes, yes _of course_ yes-"

Reon leans forward, and it's more of a press of lips than anything, because they're both smiling too much to kiss properly, but Kai compensates by cupping Reon's face between his hands kissing him everywhere he can reach, only stopping when Reon finds his mouth again.

"It's my turn next time," Kai declares, pulling Reon back on the bed with him.

"I said I would do it properly."

Reon takes the ring out of the box and Kai lets him take his hand and slip the ring on his finger. He's not used to jewelry, and he takes a few seconds to contemplate his hand with the new addition, feigning reflection.

Reon takes his other hand and Kai threads their fingers together. "I think you did perfectly."

Reon ducks and a blush spreads over his cheeks, like so long ago when he'd first visited him in Tokyo, and Kai knows he'll never get tired of it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://asexualkurootetsurou.tumblr.com/post/159566442489) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/symph0rine/status/852894539299684352)


End file.
